I get a lot of mail concerning my single-minded fanaticism about how gold, silver and oil are the best investments to buy when your stupid government is deficit-spending and allowing excess amounts of money to be created, in our case by the Federal Reserve, and particularly that part about buying oil, meaning, of course, oil company stocks.

I throw up my hands in exasperation, especially now that China has surpassed the USA in terms of energy usage, ahead of all forecasts! Therefore, with a guaranteed rise in demand for oil, for as far as the eye can see, you would think that my Stupid Mogambo Advice (SMA) to buy gold, silver and oil is the famous-yet-elusive "no-brainer investment" that stupid guys like me are always looking for, since it does not involve any thinking at all at this point, except to remember to buy them, and thus we can save our thinking for thinking about getting a new set of golf clubs and how happy we think we will be.

Instead, I get complaints. For example, I recently received this email from what appears to be an erstwhile fan, who writes, "I saw you at a restaurant recently, but you broke my heart because you did not notice me just because I was not wearing a short skirt like the beautiful Kimberly, the shameless slut who was your waitress. I just wanted to tell you that your taste in women is superficial, your table manners are atrocious, and watching you slobber and gobble your food while you drooled over Kimberly disgusted me."

Immediately I realized that this has nothing to do with my advice to buy oil along with gold and silver! This was, instead, merely another series of slanderous lies about me, this time concerning my eating habits and my kindly, almost grandfatherly, benevolent interest in the welfare of pretty waitresses.

As I was reaching to delete the email, with the dismissive word "Bah!" half-formed on my lips, with my peripheral vision I saw that the email was about oil after all! It turned out that the foregoing was mere preamble, as she then went on, "It was not until later, when I was at home relating to my neighbor how repellent and stupid you are, that I realized that your appalling lack of even a minimum of social graces was in keeping with your stupid advice to buy oil companies, as the depression that is necessary to wipe away the irresponsible fiscal and monetary excesses of the last half century will take oil companies down, too."

I notice, of course, that she did not mention that I also recommend that she buy gold and silver, too, which is probably because she agrees with me that everyone should buy them when the government is deficit-spending (now at more than 10% of GDP!) and the Federal Reserve is creating all the new money to pay for such a tsunami of new government bonds, and all of this new money will create consumer price inflation that will destroy us.

But would she mention that? No! Or maybe tell me how my adorable blue eyes twinkle with an inner light? No! Or how my delightful, tinkling laughter is like music to her ears? No! Any compliment at all? No!

And yet she wonders why I prefer Kimberly over her? Hahaha! At least Kimberly brought me things to eat, and giggled, "Oh, stop it or I'll call a cop!" when I leeringly said, "Hey, baby! Want to sit on Santa's lap?"

The point is that if a rise in demand for oil is not enough reason to buy oil, then I am surprised at you, and if the rise in the inflation-driven price of oil as a result of the Federal Reserve creating so much money is not enough reason to buy oil, then I am surprised, again.

But if not rising demand, if not rising inflation, will the news of supply problems convince you to buy oil?

If so, then here is a quote from Casey's Daily Dispatch, which is that "the oil companies must now push the outer envelope of what's technologically possible in their quest for the oil that humanity requires to maintain forward momentum. That we are forced to drill so deep, or that the Brazilians are contemplating ultra-deep drilling through three and a half miles of water, rock, hot sand, and salt, is a clear sign of how serious the quest for large new oil reserves has become."

I smile at this otherwise bad news because it is all so easy - as in "Whee! This investing stuff is easy!" - when you know how, and buying gold, silver and oil is, as I have always said, how! Whee!