Most people know me as the peachy kind of wonderful guy who, when you are piteously beaten down by a cruel and unforgiving world, and you tearfully reach out for a little helping hand, will tell you to quit that whining crap, get your stupid butt up off the ground, and go out to buy more gold, silver and oil to keep from getting destroyed by the coming-and-unstoppable inflation in prices that is caused by the horrifying inflation in the amount of money that the corrupt, intellectual-pygmies at the Federal Reserve are creating to satisfy the outrageous, unbelievable, unthinkable deficit-spending by the despicable, kamikaze-like Marxists in control of the Obama administration and the traitorous Congress (except Ron Paul), as they frantically spend, spend, spend to try, try, try to forestall the disgusting, diseased collapse ("the bust!") that always, always, always comes after a long, incestuous, bodily-fluid-exchanging, monetary-and-fiscal orgy ("the boom!") of irresponsible, dimwitted behavior.
Well, any fool can tell that I am obviously working myself into a Mogambo Fit Of Outrage (MFOO), if not judging by my words, dripping with venom as they are, then by my actions, which is to twist and squirm to prevent pills from being shoved down my throat, or the actions of my wife and family, who are the ones trying to shove the aforementioned pills down my throat because they mistakenly think that if I take the damned things, like I am supposed to, then maybe I won't be such a weirdo about the amount of money being created by the loathsome Federal Reserve.
And then maybe I will be normal, and then maybe we can have a normal family, and then maybe they can have a normal life and invite their friends over to visit without me meeting them at the front door and asking them, "So, have you been buying gold, silver and oil as the only rational response to the criminally-incompetent Federal Reserve creating so much excess money and credit? Huh? Have you? If you aren't, then you are stupid! And I don't want my wife and/or kids hanging around with somebody as stupid as you because they might end up more stupid than they already are, so go away!", which everybody thinks is embarrassing for some reason, even though I am obviously exercising my fatherly duties trying to protect them!
So I explain, "So don't invite your friends over, which Suits Me Fine (SMF), if you really want to know how I feel about it. Or, better yet, get smarter friends! And better-looking ones, too! Hahaha!"
Well, I am sure that there are no pills big enough to prevent being terrified of such enormous increases in the money supply, judging by the last 4,500 years of history when other morons tried this silly crap.
And I think that Bill Bonner here at The Daily Reckoning is with me on this one, too, which is what I gather from him saying that the federal government "greatly increased its spending - adding $4.11 billion of deficit spending every single day since September 2007."
Yikes! Borrowing spending $4.11 billion Every Freaking Day (EFD)! Gaaahhhh!
Despite my teeth-gritting determination to stop the pharmaceutical tyranny of medications being forced upon me, my mouth involuntarily gaped open when I realized that there are only 100 million of us non-taxpayer-paid workers in this Whole Freaking Country (WFC), and that this means that the government is borrowing and spending, for each one of us, $41.10 per day! This comes to the Obama idiots borrowing an incredible $287.70 a week for each non-taxpayer-paid worker, that we non-taxpayer-paid workers will have to pay back!
As I involuntarily gulped in horror at this revelation, somebody managed to get a few pills down my throat, which made me choke, and which, despite my discomfort, suddenly seemed like the perfect metaphor for the government jamming debt down my throat!
I instantly decided to show them how it feels, and perhaps understand my horror! I suddenly break free of their grasp, spring to my feet and shout, "You don't care if debt and ruinous inflation in prices is being shoved down your throats? Maybe that's because you don't know how it feels to have something shoved down your throats, you morons!"
With the awesome agility of a powerful jungle cat, I suddenly pounce upon a handful of pills, grab one of the kids by the neck and start trying to jam pills down his throat! Hahaha! "You want to know," I yell, "how debt and price inflation feels being rammed down your throats, terrors that such an outrageous expansion of the money supply necessitates? Then eat these pills! Eat them, damn it! Eat them!"
Instantly, the kids and wife are all running frantically around, crying in terror, screaming "Dial 9-1-1! Dial 9-1-1!" at each other, which I am gratified to note shows that my efforts were worth it: I was successful in my Mogambo Teachable Moment (MTM), and now they understood the horror of the government deficit spending, per day, $41.10 for each of them, too!
Too bad they don't also see the horror of not buying gold, silver and oil when their own government is deficit-spending them into the poor house and the Federal Reserve is creating the excess money and credit to make it all possible.
Fortunately, I still have a handful of pills in case any of them gets close enough for me to teach them a lesson about that, too!
